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I searched the internet for pictures and started watching short gay clips. I would get so excited that I could get myself off in less than 15 seconds. The habit of watching gay porn became progressive and more time consuming and I never ever told my wife what I was thinking. Again, I was raised to believe that being gay was a sin in the eyes of God and so had she. I never even spoke of any of my fantasies to anyone. I was afraid of the reaction and the outcome. Years later I found myself looking at personal ads and would masterbate to the thought of meeting a man and sucking his cock and maybe even letting him fuck me. I would look at the ads and again, come in seconds form the excitement. I would however NEVER give in to my fantasies and self created vivid, and explicit stories.Cut to present day at the Jack In The Box, the tall strong and well groomed man who flashed me a smile and asked: "Are you in a band?" There was that butterfly again damnit! I got a little scared. My voice. Oddly enough, Beth didn't taste asnice as Carolyn. Not that I was complaining but cataloguing for futurereference.As Beth finished up, I thought Laura would be next. But after she wipedmy face, she had me sit down with the girls. "Dana, you have passed ourtest and we welcome you into our sisterhood." Okay, now what? "That's sosweet of you girls. Thank you."That day was like a blip on the map. We went back to our normal routinesand I usually saw all of the girls at their Friday gig. The Hot Flameswere getting better and better and they were all excited about theupcoming fall review. But there wasn't much said of that day for a while.I hadn't seen the girls the previous weekend and asked if I could stopby. The girls were depressed because they had been working hard allsummer, building towards the annual fall review to showcase their newsongs. Bethany said she was sorry, but this was a once in a lifetimeopportunity and none of us blamed her. She was leaving on an around theworld cruise.
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